Loneliness: How feeling isolated changed Nizar’s relationship with money

When Nizar came in to shoot for the Kiya Paisa Asaan Hai series, he spoke readily about his savings. He described the different methods he uses to make sure that his expenditure is limited and that he is able to put some money aside every month.

He spoke proudly about all the various alternative streams of income he has been able to tap into - as an NLP practitioner, as a musician, a digital marketer and a life coach - and recounted how he does his ‘hisaab’ when his savings are running low; how he sets a goal for an amount he wants to earn in 90 days and determines which of his skills he can use, how much he must work, to achieve it.

He gave us the impression that he is - and always has been - financially savvy and confident. An hour into his shoot, however, he allowed himself to talk about how his relationship with money has evolved over time. He spoke about the turning point in his financial journey: a time when his father was admitted in the hospital and Nizar did not have the financial means to afford his treatment. He told us about how he had reached out to people around him for help but to no avail; how, at that moment, he felt lonely.

At 32, Nizar carries the responsibility of providing for his family and ensuring that he is financially able to do so. His anxiety and burden is similarly experienced by men across the country who, because of women’s exclusion from financial matters, are primarily considered the income-earners and bread-winners in their households. The emotions that Nizar experienced - pressure, anxiety, loneliness - are common but they are not acknowledged often or spoken about openly.

Kiya Paisa Asaan Hai: The challenges of talking about money

They stood in front of the green screen - people from different walks of life, with different histories, different battles - ready to talk about their relationship with money. The lights went on and the director clapped his hands together - action.

As the camera started rolling, they became guarded; protective about their stories. This is the real challenge of talking about money as we realised while shooting for the Kiya Paisa Asaan Hai series.

Each of the 5 people - women and men - who volunteered to participate spoke to us about their moments of financial vulnerability. For them, sharing their journeys with us was difficult, yet brave.

During the shoots, we observed as they selected their words carefully. Interestingly, we also noticed how gender influenced the way they spoke about their financial matters.

Women spoke more openly about their finances than men. They were more willing to admit to an inability to save, a propensity to overspend and only withheld what they thought would reflect on their families. Men, on the other hand, were more likely to follow stories of financial vulnerability with advice and stories about success. When they recalled times when they did not have access to money in the face of family emergencies, they also offered explanations about how they had learnt their lessons and started saving.

Our objective with the campaign was to explore the emotions women and men associate money. We learnt that most people feel anxious when they don’t have savings, lonely in the face of financial emergencies, guilty about spending too much, and pressurised when under debt. However, more importantly, we learnt how difficult it is to talk about these feelings and, simultaneously, how important it is to have these conversations; to break taboos and barriers in order for each of us to build our finances.